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Winston Churchill Quotes about Funny

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The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Trust, Witty
Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest

Winston Churchill
Funny, Witty, Clothes

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Winston Churchill
Inspirational, Funny, Life

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Sarcastic, Witty
"Churchill 'in the year of Trump': Darkest Hour feeds America's love for Winston" by David Smith, www.theguardian.com. November 26, 2017.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Truth, Honesty
Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Witty, War

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Change, Business
Winston Churchill (1987). “The Irrepressible Churchill: Stories, Sayings and Impressions of Sir Winston Churchill”, London : Robson Books

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

Winston Churchill
Inspirational, Funny, Life

Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Witty, Arguing

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Humorous, Next Week
In B. Adler Churchill Wit (1965) p. 4

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Leadership, Education
Sir Winston Churchill (1966). “Irrepressible Churchill: a treasury of Winston Churchill's wit”

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

Winston Churchill
Funny, True Friend, Lying
Sir Winston Churchill (1995). “The Proverbial Winston S. Churchill: An Index to Proverbs in the Works of Sir Winston Churchill”

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Sarcastic, Time

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

Winston Churchill
Inspirational, Funny, Leadership

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Army, British Navy
In Sir Peter Gretton Former Naval Person (1968) ch. 1

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Life, Leadership
Speech at the Reform Club, April 28, 1981.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Death, Witty
Quoted in L.A. Times, 28 Nov. 1954

Eating words has never given me indigestion.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Health, Apology
Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Humorous, Fighting
Winston Churchill, Robert Rhodes James (1980). “Churchill speaks: Winston S. Churchill in peace and war : collected speeches, 1897-1963”, Atheneum

Sunshine is my quest.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Sunshine, Vacation

A joke is a very serious thing.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Humorous, Serious Things

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.

Winston Churchill
Funny, Witty, United States
"Greenfield: Un-kept promises" by Jeff Greenfield, www.cnn.com. January 24, 2007.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

Winston Churchill
Funny, Golf, Games
Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

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