Christmas Quotes - Page 34

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

I manage a toast to the Christmas tree and one to the sweet absurdity in the miracle of the verb to be. Lucky you, lucky me.

No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go; Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again. With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.

I'm well-travelled so I can see places coming up. I went to St. Croix in the West Indies at Christmas and it had been hit by a really bad tornado. Values there have gone down but I guarantee they will be up again in eight years. So I'll get in now while it's cheap as chips.

She mailed me a Merry Christmas-I'm-Breaking-Up-with-You card. I'll read it to you," he said. He cleared his throat. "Dear Marcus. Merry Christmas. I'm breaking up with you. Mia.

Service... Giving what you don't have to give. Giving when you don't need to give. Giving because you want to give.

I love everything about the Christmas season.

I don't like hassles. But I love Christmas because it reminds us how "God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God" (Rom. 8:28 NLT).

I'm Jewish and my wife isn't so right now we're literally decorating a Christmas tree with Jewish stars draped around it.

We're supposed to be civilized. We're supposed to go to work every day. We're supposed to be nice to our friends and send Christmas cards to our parents.

Miracles happen on Christmas, Pat. Everybody knows that.

Never deny the babies their Christmas! It is the shining seal set upon, a year of happiness. Let them believe in Santa Claus, or St. Nicholas; or Kriss Kringle, or whatever name the jolly Dutch saint bears in your religion.

My grandson sees me as Lois on TV every Christmas, and that scores me points.

It must not simply be taken for granted that a given set of ill-assorted people, for no other reason than because it is Christmas, will be joyful to be reunited and to break bread together.

In case anyone would like to know, we have now entered the Christmas season. Christmas as in Jesus Christ. This is not the "happy holidays" season. ...Don't "Happy Holidays" me because I will "Merry Christmas" you in return.

I don't like green Christmases. They're not green—they're just nasty faded browns and grays.

Fortunately, like all good things, Christmas Day does come to an end.

Merry Christmas, I whisper to myself. Merry Christmas, Nate.

Ive not cooked Christmas dinner since 1982.