Comedian Quotes - Page 25

I knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a lot invested in wanting to be a really good comedian and so I stopped for that reason.

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.

Hey man! I'm a comedian but I'm not a clown.

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

I set out to become a comedian, and I said in order to do that the first thing I'll do is become a disc jockey and know my pop music. I like it, my voice is good, and I can start out getting confidence without an audience in front of me.

I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.

I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.

I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on...

That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.

I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy.

When you hear "Seinfield," no one says, "the Jewish comic." You talk about Cedric the Entertainer, you don't say, "African American comedian Cedric the Entertainer." Even Margaret Cho - who's like one of three Korean performers out there - no one refers to her like that. They say, "It's Margaret Cho."

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation.

Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don't feel like it.

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal as someone like Marc Maron or a lot of comedians, but they are essentially my life and my interpretation of it.

Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).

I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character.