Customs is punishment for those who travel. This will teach you for traveling to our country!
I used to think it was corny to be in love but actually it's corny to lose an awesome woman! Real talk.
I am not a model the camera just went off by itself
I can always create new material. That's something I can control.
Immigrants have been coming here for a long time. The Americans that are afraid of others coming were immigrants once themselves, so they have a lot of nerve. We have a lot of nerve as a country. The only people that should have xenophobia are Native Americans. Everyone else should shut up.
You know, the energy I think I was just born with. I think I was just always like that as I kid; I was always real energetic.
My black friends in America don't believe me. I said, 'Dude, I'm Nigerian American.' 'Word? We thought you were, like, regular black.' What the hell is 'regular black'? Crayola coming out with colors I don't know about?
I think that sometimes I've been a little too nice. I think you have to have a balance. When you're too nice people take you for granted, they take you for a fool I think.
When my woman kisses me I start dancing like James Brown. Ow! I Feel Good!
The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!
I wish people would understand that comedy is an art form, and that the same thing that makes a Picasso painting is the same thing that gives Bill Cosby the ability to do an hour of comedy on his kids.
I observe everything around me and when something hits me and it's funny, that's what I talk about. I'm a more observational kind of comic.
I got into trouble a lot in school. They say you're a disturbance in class. You're a distraction, they're moving you around. You never really get rewarded in class for being funny. You're a disturbance. But the funny kid is often witty and clever and quick... they finally get a chance to express themselves when they get out of school.
That's what I take pride in in my stand-up, is changing things up. Being special.
But there's times when I like to find the strange angles to something. People go, 'I heard a lot of jokes like that, but that's one of the most interesting takes I heard.' That's what I try to do.
I'm forever a part of pop culture.
I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.
I'm still trying to understand the wearing off high heels at the airport.
But some people want attention so bad they want you to see them angry at you.
I went to University of Illinois. Big school. 35,000 students. 800 black... I was the only black in every class. Hard to be absent.
Want to shut a racist white guy's mouth. Put him around Super human athletic black dudes.
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do!
I think there are people living in Walmart dressed up as employees.
I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot.
The X-Games - I watch that; I'm not impressed. That's white dudes' desperation. They're running out of sports. They gotta find something that black dudes won't touch.
