It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
We kids feared many things in those days - werewolves, dentists, North Koreans, Sunday School - but they all paled in comparison with Brussels sprouts.
When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.
I didn't make a deal with God, because you can't make a deal with God. He put me here to talk to kids and to talk to drunks and help addicts. He gave me this "job" which makes it a lot easier to get through to people.
I was a volleyball player as a kid. I played volleyball all the time.
If you're a kid in Southern California, somebody - whether it's you or your parents - somebody throws your hat into the ring and I think everyone had a commercial or two.
The records of adopted children are sealed in California. That seal is considered inviolable... The judge ruled that, because I was famous, he didn't have the same rights as other kids.
A life where bots tell us what to do every second - get up, go to work, do this, have kids with this person - is completely reasonable. Bots determine our economic opportunities; We have already accepted that. All the decision making would be done by bots and we wouldn't even notice.
I wasn't the most popular kid in school.
People used to make their own clothes, now they buy clothes. People used to take care of their own kids, now they pay other people do it. And that was because capitalism requires more and more things being turned into money - being turned into profit. But that has reached this absurd limit where there's nothing left to turn into money, and the capitalist system is breaking down.
As a kid, I kind of spent my life being amazed by being tricked. I love being tricked. I still love it today.
I like school very much, and I'll go to college if my career slows down. But kids go to college to be where I am today. Not to put college down, but for me, it would be digressing.
I had a rule that I would never force the muse in my younger days. I would follow the feeling. I would just put the pen down and walk away, and wait for it to come back. But these days, I have a kid, I tour a lot, and I'm always short on time.
I grew up with a rotary phone in my house and that seems a world away, but that's what I was used to as a kid. So now things seem complicated to me, but to kids born right now, they don't feel complicated.
One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley.
I was in my teens and I was going through a bit of a phase, drinking a lot and doing E tablets and getting into street fighting and getting depressed. Then I'd listen to Marley and it lifted me out of it. I'd like to try and do the same for kids, that my music would give them a bit of hope and strength, and they'd know that I was telling the truth and I wouldn't lie to them.
A cricket ball broke my nose when I was a kid so I couldn't breath through it. Before I had it operated on I used to stand on stage with my mouth slightly open.
You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
Indeed, most magicians catch the bug as kids. My first audience was my family in Long Island. My first 'assistant' was my mother, whom I levitated on a broom in our living room.
The main thing I do now is I coach kids, and all of these stories along the way are based in reality.
Halloween's eve is also known as mischief night. Kids are supposed go around playing pranks tonight. That's great, just what teenagers need -- another excuse to be jerks.
The queen banishes Snow White because of her beauty. But the dwarves help Snow White because they're smitten by that very beauty. It teaches kids an important lesson: Nothing matters except for your looks.
I had the benefit of experiencing a hundred times more than the average kid. I don't look back with regret at all. It was the best life ever.
Stuff happens when you are a kid, it scars you inside for life.
But when I really look back on my life, being really honest about it and now that I've got the chance to travel the world, seeing how a lot of little kids grow up - my life wasn't so bad.
