Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quotes

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.

People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.

... [woman suffrage] has made little difference beyond doubling the number of voters. There is no woman's vote as such. They divide up just about as men do.

[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.