I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.
We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.
The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.
Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.
It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.
When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.
The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.
A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.
In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.
Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.
I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.
What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.
I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.
It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.
America's racist, so what do you expect.
There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?
I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.
A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.
Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.
I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.
A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.
I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.
I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.
So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.
Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.
