Douglas William Jerrold Quotes - Page 2

Quality, not quantity, is my measure.

I would like to have a second chance at my first love.

Fix yourself upon the wealthy. In a word, take this for a golden rule through life: Never, never have a friend that is poorer than yourself.

Etiquette has no regard for moral qualities.

Grumblers deserve to be operated upon surgically; their trouble is usually chronic.

Gravity is more suggestive than convincing.

Humor is the harmony of the heart.

There are a good many pious people who are as careful of their religion as of their best service of china, only using it on holy occasions, for fear it should get chipped or flawed in working-day wear.

Wishes, at least, are the easy pleasures of the poor.

A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon out of respect for that 'ancient institution' the old one.

He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that, in his mistaken passion, he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.

I never hear the rattling of dice that it does not sound to me like the funeral bell of the whole family.

If an earthquake were to engulf England tomorrow, the English would manage to meet and dine somewhere among the rubbish, just to celebrate the event.

Religion is in the heart, not in the knees.

Slugs crawl and crawl over our cabbages, like the world's slander over a good name. You may kill them, it is true; but there is the slime.

The blackest of fluid is used as an agent to enlighten the world.

Virtue is a beautiful thing in woman when they don't go about with it like a child with a drum making all sorts of noise with it.

Women, somehow, have the same fear of witty men as of fireworks.

A man, so to speak, who is not able to bow to his own conscience every morning is hardly in a condition to respectfully salute the world at any other time of the day.

Literature, like a gypsy, to be picturesque, should be a little ragged.

Jewels! It's my belief that when woman was made, jewels were invented only to make her the more mischievous.

We love peace, as we abhor pusillanimity; but not peace at any price.

A coquette is like a recruiting sergeant, always on the lookout for fresh victims.

Wit, like money, bears an extra value when rung down immediately it is wanted. Men pay severely who require credit.

Dogmation is puppyism come to its full growth.