Finley Peter Dunne Quotes - Page 2

Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.

No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.

There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.

Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.

A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

Continued focus on (employee) turnover is of critical importance, because of the direct relation of turnover to improvements in labor costs and guest satisfaction.

A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.

A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.

If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.

If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.

You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.

A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.