Frank Zappa Quotes - Page 4

There is no hell. There is only France.

I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole.

I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize . You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

Of course it's contrived, but once you know how its contrived, you can understand the editorial viewpoint. CNN, for example, when you see where they're really coming from, you can subtract their bias, and get some sort of facts. Sometimes the amount of bias that is imposed in these things is so laughable that it gives you an extra layer of entertainment.

Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great.

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.

We live in a very special time right now. At no other time in history has there been such mass disillusionment in terms of reliance on governing functions. Most people don’t want to come to terms with that. It’s been proven over and over again that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, but most people don’t like to look at naked emperors. In the process of turning around to avert their eyes, they saw the discotheques and a few other things and latched onto them.

If we can't be free at least we can be cheap.

The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.

There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved.

The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

I am the slime oozing out from your TV set. You will obey me while I lead you, and eat the garbage while I feed you.

The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart.

I think it's really tragic when people get serious about stuff. It's such an absurdity to take anything really seriously ... I make an honest attempt not to take anything seriously: I worked that attitude out about the time I was eighteen, I mean, what does it all mean when you get right down to it, what's the story here? Being alive is so weird.

You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain't what you're not. So see what you got?

The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too serious.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

Drugs will turn you into your parents.

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.