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Frank Zappa Quotes about Funny

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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Education, Sex

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm
"W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Football, Country
Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Bullying, People
Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.13, Simon and Schuster

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

Frank Zappa
Funny, People, Drug
Senate hearing on Porn Rock and the PMRC, 1985.

There is no hell. There is only France.

Frank Zappa
Funny, France, Hell
Song: Church Chat

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.

Frank Zappa
Inspirational, Funny, Mind

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Writing, Humor
Quoted in Chicago Tribune, 18 Jan. 1978

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

Frank Zappa
Inspirational, Funny, Motivational
"W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Music, Humorous

If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Inspiring, Guitar

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Music, People

Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Humorous, Russia
Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.330, Simon and Schuster

People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble.

Frank Zappa
Funny, Humorous, Kids
Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.247, Simon and Schuster

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