Gabriel Iglesias Quotes - Page 3

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.

I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a genius at 10. Try telling that at 21, and you look hacky and stupid. That was the only joke I've ever told. Everything since has been character voices, doing impressions or just telling stories.

If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time.

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18.

If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits.

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.

I was not the popular kid in school.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds.

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.

I talked about the stuff so openly that people are able to connect and relate. I put everything out there [into the network], and if I'm having a bad time, people know about it.

By the end of the semester [in the high school] I was the only one up in front of the class everyday. Actually I could have passed the class four times over because every time you got in front of the class you got extra credit.That was the only class I got an A in and it was the funniest report card because it read Speech - A but everything else was just D, D, D, D.

I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.

I started talking about things that everybody could relate to. And that's not to say I deserted my roots, I just found a way to talk about things in a broad way.

I like to tell old jokes on stage after about an hour, or an hour and a half. I'll bring those old ones back because the fans love them.

I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood.

I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.

People understand when I talk about my son not listening, or issues at home or his real dad coming back into the picture, or even stories about family members not seeing eye to eye with what you're doing.