Success is.... happiness. Is that too Deepak Chopra?
Most kids come home from school. They don't go to their TVs first. They go to the Internet. They check their emails, or some blogs, or some sites. Then they go watch TV. Other people are at work all day 9-5 in front of a computer. They see certain clips. We're not going to hide the fact that people use the Internet. We're going to try to be as interactive as possible with our fans. I'm currently on Twitter and Facebook and Flicker and Dig. I'm on all that stuff.
The key to happiness. Hm.... There are just so many factors. I think it's just a way of being. It's about.... every little thing in moderation. Whether it be stress, anger, joy, depression.
You've never had a job that you thought was secure. You don't think the Tonight Show is risk free. Especially when you saw what happened with your buddy Conan O'Brien. There is always a Plan B.I am ready to apply to the post office.
Thinking about all that - what it means to be happy - I think it overloaded your brain.
You're sitting there, with your wife and your baby and your smiling dog, and you're watching Real Housewives getting into fistfights on TV. And you go, 'How great is my life? I'm so happy right now.'
Wearing shorts is a huge perk. I think it's probably one of the reasons people become mailmen. You also get to drive in that vehicle that should be illegal in the United States, where the steering wheel is on the other side. They have no rules! They are the punk rock of government jobs.
It would've been amazing [to work as programmer]. You're good at numbers, you're good with people, you like to wear shorts in the summertime.
The 'Tonight Show' didn't seem like an actual job that you could have. All you remember is you watched Johnny Carson, and you never thought he would retire.
When you were a kid, it [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see him.
I feel like I'm being too Zen. I'm inhaling too much patchouli and incense. It's embarrassing.
[Writing a joke] there is no team of writers. It's just you in an office, staring at yourself in the mirror.
I haven't been on a date in awhile. I went on maybe two dates in my whole life.
We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog.
You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.
Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.
My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.
I think you just look for the person you have the most fun with. And that's enough. You realize, "Wait, I can just keep having fun with her forever?" Yes, you can do that. That is the key.
It's something I worry about when I'm working out. I don't want to get too fit. Because I don't want the new DaVinci of this Millennium to say, "You. I have found my muse. I have to sculpt you."
I remember people saying to us, "You're too nice. Hollywood is going to eat you up and spit you out." I never listened to them.
We're into tech stuff, gadgets, phones, video games. We'll treat a video game premiere like a movie premiere. I'm just going to be honest with what I like and what I do. What I enjoy. We're not going to hide the fact that people are on the Internet all day. I think a lot of shows don't really mention that.
I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up all night in my kitchen, practicing the dance, because I knew I had to dance with Timberlake and that guy can dance.
