I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you're sparring or drilling techniques, you can't think of anything else.
People for the most part can smell lies.
It's impossible to measure the type of mental strength and determination that's required to be an elite wrestler.
The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way.
I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
I've actually been doing stand up for more than 20 years. I started in 1988. It's almost 30 years! Which is crazy.
I don`t like people that make their living talking about bullshit, and you see them in many shows that are made on the same subject. When you go looking at UFOs or bigfoot or what-have-you, there's just nothing there.
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the oppor-tunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.
There's a classic story I tell about when I did the Man Show about the retarded conversations that you have with the executive producers and the network.
Houston people are way cool. They're smart, they know how to have a good time, and they have the hottest chicks on the planet there.
Being a celebrity or anything else where you're really ambitious, it's really a game to see how successful you can get.
I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with.
If I could, I would live in Houston, and I would encourage any comic starting out looking for a good place to develop to move there.
If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.
Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.
Well you see, Brazilian JiuJitsu Blackbelts have a blackbelt in...... Brazilian JiuJitsu
I read the things that scientists have figured out, and apply what they say is beneficial, but at the end of the day I'm the wrong person to get unchallenged nutritional advice from.
Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot
Despite all the advancements in science, and all things about religion that are disproved it still marches on. The bottom line is that the only real, absolutely provable answers about life and our place in the universe are provided by science, and religion has been holding down science since day one.
I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion.
I've been involved in mixed martial arts since 1997 when I first started working for the UFC.
People for the most part can smell lies, at least I thought that until I saw audiences applaud at Carlos Mencia.
I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.
