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John Swartzwelder Quotes

I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.

I made a circular motion with my finger around my temple to indicate I thought this guy was crazy, forgetting that there was no one in the room to see this circular motion except him. He saw it and frowned.

John Swartzwelder
Crazy, Guy, Rooms
John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

I try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, because clients notice little things like that, and if you're frowning and crying all the time and saying "why? why?", they get worried.

John Swartzwelder
Attitude, Trying, Frowning
John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

They can kill the Kennedys. Why can't they make a cup of coffee that tastes good?

John Swartzwelder
Coffee, Taste, Cups

If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it.

John Swartzwelder
Way, Advantage, Duty

As my exciting story began I was being punched in the stomach.

John Swartzwelder
Stories, Stomach, Exciting

I'm 190 pounds of rock hard muscle, underneath 40 pounds of sturdy protective fat.

John Swartzwelder
Rocks, Pounds, Sturdy
John Swartzwelder (2004). “The Time Machine Did It”

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

John Swartzwelder
Couple, Toilets, Bills

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