Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.
Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.
Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.
I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?
I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.
It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.
One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.
The reason they call if 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.
There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.
Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!
The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.
I would love to see what's going to happen with science fiction with peoples' heads, because we still have people running around in the year 2050 or 2100 or 2200 and they have incredible technology and you see the effects: laser beams and rays and beaming down and beaming up. Incredible technical things happening, but everybody is still running around jealous, fighting, whacking, cheating. There's got to be something going on! Some kind of change. I'd like to see something starting to happen in that area, with the psychology of the human being and how that changed.
I love comedy and I hope I never stop doing it.
Today, in my career, I'm doing what I love to do. And that is, do things for the fun - do comedy. It's a pleasure to go for the laughter.
Do your part to silence gossip - don't repeat it.
I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent.
Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.
Sometimes integrity is a punch in the face.
I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.
Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.
When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy.
I don't think anybody can really sit down and decide that their mission in life is to make people think. I think their mission in life is to leave people alone!
