We need empathy to give empathy.
We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.
Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.
With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.
It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.
Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.
The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.
We give empathy to others for our own benefit.
A respectful understanding of another's experience.
By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
A second even more obvious sign is that the person will stop talking. If we are uncertain as to whether we have stayed long enough in the process, we can always ask, "Is there more that you wanted to say"?
What evidence is there that we've adequately empathized with the other person? First, when an individual realizes that everything going on within has received full empathic understanding, they will experience a sense of relief. We can become aware of this phenomenon by noticing a corresponding release of tension in our own body.
Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
We need to receive empathy to give empathy.
Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing.
