Mike Birbiglia Quotes about Funny - Page 2

Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.

Two Drink Mike enjoys dancing and knows a magic trick. Whereas, No Drink Mike enjoys biographies, and has serious opinions on wildlife. And Five Drink Mike... dances with wildlife.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Humor, Two

I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who've been gone from America for so long they didn't realize that I'm not famous.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Humor, America

When you're in a relationship with someone who's selfish, what keeps you in it is the fact that when they shine on you, it's this souped-up shine. And you feel like you're in the club. And you don't even know what club it is. You just know you want to stay in it.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Selfish, Humor

Mike Birbiglia (2012). “Sleepwalk with Me: And Other Painfully True Stories”, p.47, Simon and Schuster

They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Humor, Cutting

Mike Birbiglia (2012). “Sleepwalk with Me: And Other Painfully True Stories”, p.137, Simon and Schuster

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Baby, Humor

Mike Birbiglia (2012). “Sleepwalk with Me: And Other Painfully True Stories”, p.122, Simon and Schuster

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying..."

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Humor, America

I'm a compulsive everything.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Humor

Mike Birbiglia (2010). “Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories”, p.113, Simon and Schuster

...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.

Mike Birbiglia

Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

Mike Birbiglia (2012). “Sleepwalk with Me: And Other Painfully True Stories”, p.48, Simon and Schuster