Mort Sahl Quotes - Page 3

Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.

Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

You haven't lived until you've died in California

Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?

Obama is running again for spite.

I don't think fascism is dying for.