Mort Sahl Quotes - Page 2

Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?

The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.

Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.

Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.

I found people looked better when they laughed

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

you don't know what you think unless you say it.

I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

You know me, I love lost causes.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.

Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.

Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?