Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!
Nigel gave the lamp a cautious buff and small smoking red letters appeared in the air. "Hi," Nigel read aloud, "Do not put down the lamp because your custom is important to us. Please leave a wish after the tone and, very shortly, it will be our command. In the meantime, have a nice eternity."
