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Terry Pratchett Quotes about Funny

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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Life, Intelligent

If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Motivational, Trust
FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Aug 28, 2015

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Life, Eye

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Humorous, People

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Learning, Ignorance
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Equal Rites: (Discworld Novel 3)”, Random House

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Running, Rocks
"Terry Pratchett in quotes: 15 of the best". www.theguardian.com. March 12, 2015.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, People, Ankh
"The Compleat Ankh-Morpork". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2012.

If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.

Terry Pratchett
Inspirational, Funny, Book
"Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

The world is a globe — the farther you sail, the closer to home you are.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Travel, Home
"The Ghost Girl and the Naked Savage" by James Hynes, www.nytimes.com. December 05, 2008.

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Thinking, Leaving
"Good Omens". Book by Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, 1990.

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Stupid, Animal
"Small Gods". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1992.

Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Cat, Animal
"The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

The second mouse gets the cheese!

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Witty, Iron

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Witty, Know Me

The Kappamaki, a whaling research ship, was currently researching the question: How many whales can you catch in one week?

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Animal, Whales

The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Animal, Intelligent

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Dog, Cat

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, Dog, Sooner Or Later
Terry Pratchett (2013). “Jingo: Stage Adaptation”, p.81, A&C Black

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