It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!
You know how they do that effect in movies, where they make it look like you have a twin, but it's really just the same actor playing both characters in the scene? I knew this would be the best route, but I just wasn't comfortable dressing as a woman, so I had to hire other actors.
People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.
Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?
I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.
Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.
When I played the Shins, I changed someone's life. When I play Belle and Sebastian in a pivotal scene in my next movie...well, let's just say I made sure I that I can't be held legally responsible for all the deaths people will suffer out of shock upon hearing them. They're a terrific band.
I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.
Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.
I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?
People always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.
I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.
Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.
I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.
I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.
One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.
I think the Bible should be re-written for today's society. We can call it 'Scrubs.'
Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.
People are always going to find fault with anything you do, any process that you're a part of. The creative process means taking risks, I've taken risks and I've made mistakes, but the bottom line is, could anyone else have done any better ? I have to believe that what I created was worthwhile.
It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
They say that guys who like chick flicks tend to do a little better with the ladies. Well, I INVENTED the chick flick, so you can pretty much guess where that leaves me.
Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.
