Top 11 Funny Sarcastic Quotes

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

Winston Churchill

Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

Uttered during a lunch with the Arab leader, Ibn Saud

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

Dick Gregory

Funny Sarcastic, Alcohol, Drug

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

Oscar Levant

Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

"Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

Sammy Davis, Jr.

Patience, Drinking, Funny Sarcastic

Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny.

Marguerite Duras

Destiny, Men, Funny Sarcastic

Marguerite Duras (1993). “Practicalities”, p.17, Grove Press

Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person.

Marilyn vos Savant

Interesting, Funny Sarcastic, Alcohol

I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.

Jim Carrey

Beautiful, Funny Sarcastic, Alcohol

Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.

William S. Burroughs

Funny Sarcastic, Alcohol, Drug

"Naked Lunch" by William S. Burroughs, Grove Press, (p. 201), 1959.

As women slowly gain power, their values and priorities are reshaping the agenda. A multitude of studies show that when women control the family funds, they generally spend more on health, nutrition, and education - and less on alcohol and cigarettes.

Dee Dee Myers

Funny Sarcastic, Priorities, Alcohol

As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.

Jim Ramstad

Recovery, Addiction, Funny Sarcastic