Golf Quotes - Page 50

Golf is a diabolical game. It's easy to make fun of something that's so bizarre, so painful, so humiliating... yet so joyous.

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

I think I was given a gift to play golf and to be mentally strong

Retire to what? I'm a golfer and a fisherman. I've got no place to retire to.

The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole.

For me, 'choking' is just another term in golf.

I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS.

I love the house that I've been living in for over 40 years. I really am a homebody and I still love to play golf.

I found golf was too time consuming, but I did enjoy it.

The muttered hint, "Remember, you have a stroke here," freezes my joints like a blast from Siberia.

Always remember that however good you may be, the game is your master.

I remember one afternoon when we were out on a golf course somewhere, and Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and Jack Lemmon were sitting there in deck chairs when I went off to do another scene. And I said something like, "Hey, where have you guys been?" And they said, "Oh, we were down at the clubhouse. We saw your scene!" And Jack Lemmon looked at James Garner, and James Garner looked back at me, and then they both looked back at me and said in unison, "You bet your ass it is!" So I've been up there with the greats. I've had my fleeting moments with theatrical genius.

I'm a huge car guy, I cannot wait to see it [Ferrari World]. I hear there is also unbelievable golf which I'd like to sample and I'm looking forward to seeing what the gym facilities are like

The rules are simple and easily understood by anyone who has once seen the game, but to the totally uninitiated they appear to be hopelessly unintelligible.

You can't lose an old golf ball.

Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself.

Magellan went around the world in 1521, which is not too many strokes when you consider the distance.

The trouble with me is I think too much. I always said you have to be dumb to play good golf.

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

Golf is a lot like sex. It's something you can enjoy all your life. And if you remain an amateur, you get to pick your own playing partners.

I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I haven't forgotten how.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel."

Three months later, on September 5, 2001, at a pro-am event preceding the Canadian Open at the Royal Montreal Golf Club, I was invited to play a round with Tiger Woods. Nothing in the game of politics had ever been as nerve-racking as that game of golf.