Golf Quotes - Page 65

I'm thinking of taking up golf, but the idea of spending time with golfers frightens me.

New Zealand has a great reputation in America for golf.

Why do I keep performing at my age? What else am I going to do? Play golf? I tried that years ago and all I did was cuss. I can do that without the walk, cuss at Congress and let [Mark]Twain do it. "Imagine that you were an idiot. And then imagine that you were a member of Congress. Wait - I've repeated myself."

I well recall my horror when I heard for the first time, of a journalist who had laid in a pair of what were then called bicycle pants and taken to golf; it was as if I had encountered a studhorse with his hair done up in frizzes, and pink bowknots peeking out of them. It seemed, in some vague way, ignominious, and even a bit indelicate.

I take golf trips with my brother or with friends. We usually go to Pebble or Bandon Dunes. One year we went to Hawaii.

There are three types of golf: golf, tournament golf and Major championship golf.

I am about as relaxed a guy as it gets. I like sitting on my couch, watching shows, sitting by the fire pit. I like to play golf, but I don't have a chance to play it often. Playstation. Xbox, but I'm about as boring a guy as you'll ever meet. I could sit on this couch from the time the day starts to the time the day ends.

I grew up not having a father. Golf is the father I never had. It taught me honesty and respect and discipline and it taught me to control my temperament.

I call my putter 'Sweet Charity' because it covers such a multitude of sins from tee to green.

Every golfer has a little monster in him. It's just that type of sport.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

I'll be glad to leave here. I feel like eating palm trees. I don't like this place. It's for people with arthritis. They come here to play golf and to die.

The trouble with golf is that you are only as good as your last putt.

The fourth tee brings out a mixture of excitement and anticipation, for about 220 yards down the fairway you catch a glimpse of Stillwater Cove, and realize you'll be walking along this spectacular meeting of land and sea for the next two hours.

Golf is a bloodless sport-if you don't count ulcers.

I'm not a golf player. I think golf and fishing are the same, but at the end of the day, you can't fry up and golf ball and dip it in tartar sauce. So I'm a fisherman.

Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial.

I think O.J. protests too much. Not only did he say he didn't carve the holiday turkey, but he was in the back yard practicing his golf swing the whole time.

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

Scottish golf is a more public game. It is more reasonably priced and they play faster. It isn't cart golf. The only reason resorts force you into carts is for the money. They are selling off the soul of the game for a few dollars.

Forty-one rules aren't so many - St. Benedict had 73 to keep the brethren on the straight and narrow.

To me, life is like the back nine in golf. Sometimes you play better on the back nine. You may not be stronger, but hopefully you're wiser. And if you keep most of your marbles intact, you can add a note of wisdom to the coming generation.

My father died very suddenly at sixty-three. Just dropped dead. For a long time afterward, I'd ask myself, Why didn't I ask him to play golf more? Why didn't I spend more time with him? But when you're off trying to get the brass ring, you forget and overlook those little things. It gives you a certain amount of regret later on, but there's nothing you can do about it. So you just forge on.

I am very active, ... I like to ride horses. I golf. I perform onstage. I am a madman onstage.