Humorous Quotes - Page 65

An absence of antecedents and of relatives is sometimes an aid rather than an impediment to social advancement . . .

A fine horse or a beautiful woman, I cannot look at them unmoved, even now when seventy winters have chilled my blood.

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my derision and contempt . . .

The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .

While I would agree that I write about serious subjects, and that they're not necessarily the most pleasant subjects or even the most pleasant people, as a writer I just think about the humorous aspects of these things - that's what keeps me going when I'm writing a story.

I do sometimes miss doing that lighter, more humorous work, and I find there's a heavier responsibility that goes along with a literary reputation. You have to start knowing what you're talking about and you have to go have public conversations with writers. That's been pretty intense; I have to really stay on top of things in a way I didn't before.

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

There is no decision to be more or less comic. I don't feel more or less humorous in my day-to-day. These things are accidental.

Feb. 9, 1999 Dear Friend, Without your previous support, Bill Clinton and I would not have won our victories for the American people in 1992 and 1996. ... And to win in 2000, I need you by my side.

It seems an easy choice - sacrifice the tree for a human life - until one learns that three trees must be destroyed for each patient treated. Suddenly we must confront some tough questions. How important are the medical needs of future generations?

Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

Never forget that it is the spirit with which you endow your work that makes it useful or futile.

The brand is lying about something, or at least misrepresenting it. When I read a bottle of shampoo or moisturizer or other beauty product, I always perceive a dark subtext. The words haunt me. It comes across as humorous to the reader/audience, but in fact the words really do make me a little bit queasy. Nothing is as easy or natural as consumer brands want us to think - no problem is as resolvable. Your hair will fall out, eventually. Yet we do have these brands, and we line our shelves with them. There's an inherent irony.

This is for all ill-treated fellows Unborn and unbegot, For them to read when they're in trouble And I am not.