Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going ot be weird when they're announcing all the countries, and he's like 'Got a bank account there, got one there, two bank accounts there.'
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'
There used to be a lot more politics in the Olympics, when the Soviet Bloc committed a lot of resources for propaganda purposes.
I was around 15 when I first wanted to compete in an Olympics. I even remember the first time I got to wear a GB kit as a junior. I've even kept it. It's in my mum's loft somewhere, probably gone mouldy by now.
The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same. Take people off the street, 'Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! I don't wanna be in the luge!' Once you put that helmet on them, 'You're in the luge, buddy!' 'aaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAA... aaaAAAAA...' World record. Didn't even wanna do it. I'd like to see that next Olympics, the Involuntary Luge.
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.
I am the Olympic Ambassador. I always promote Olympics. I just want to say, Olympics is Olympics. [You] cannot mix with politics. Olympics for me is love, peace, [being] united.
Every country when they have Olympics, a lot of people come out opposed.
Beijing is an example of [families were displaced for the Olympics]. Something like 10,000 families were moved out.
I just enjoy calculating, and it's an instrument I know how to play. It's almost an athletic performance, in a way. I was just watching the Olympics, and that's how I feel when proving a theorem.
I love sleeping. If there was an Olympics for it, I'd take gold. I'm Cuban. We love to sleep.
I know there's life after the Olympics.
Immediately after the Olympics, I was pretty fatigued.
My grandmother always acted in other people's interests, whether they wanted her to or not. If they'd had an Olympics in martyrdom my grandmother would have lost on purpose.
I'm very impressed. All the crowds I've seen are very enthusiastic. It's not the first time every seat hasn't been sold at the Winter Olympics.
Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.
Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good.
The Olympics have just started and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt.
Tough Olympic news for the Romneys. Ann Romney's horse Rafalka did not advance to the Olympic finals. Apparently it was beat by a smooth-talking socialist horse from Kenya.
Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?
Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of shape. I just have to say that I have been watching the Olympics, and if that guy is out of shape, I have been dead for five years.
I'm actually pretty good at tennis. Well, if I'm in the Special Olympics or something.
My last real race was at the Olympics in Sydney in 2000.
