Stupid Quotes - Page 91

The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

It is beyond my apprehension.

I don't want to lose ever. I don't want to lose at anything. I want to make weight faster than the guy that I'm fighting if we both go into the sauna at the same time. When we're doing interviews I want to have quicker wit so that I can make him feel stupid. I want to drink my water faster. And then when we get in the cage I want to beat him up. I don't think people really truly understand the extent that I go to try not to use.

It helps to be stupid if you're a relief pitcher. Relievers had to get into a zone of their own. I just hope I'm stupid enough.

Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the - to the back!

This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!

Getting [cruise missiles] more accurate so that we can have precise precision.

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.

They asked me to go in front of the Reagans. I'm not used to going in front of President Reagan, so we went out behind the Bushes.

English Law: where there are two alternatives: one intelligent, one stupid; one attractive, one vulgar; one noble, one ape-like; one serious and sincere, one undignified and false; one far-sighted, one short; EVERYBODY will INVARIABLY choose the latter.

The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!

It's annoying when people do that so-called comedians impression of me when it's stupid nonsense.

Drugs have nothing to do with the creation of music. In fact, they are dumb and self indulgent. Kind of like sucking your thumb!

It's the stupid questions that have some of the most surprising and interesting answers. Most people never think to ask the stupid questions.

In 1919 I woke up famous. I'd never guessed it. If I'd known I was famous, I'd have stolen away and wept. I was stupid. I was supposed to be intelligent. I was sensitive and very dumb.

To have gone to all this trouble to get to this is just too stupid! Outside there's brilliant sunshine but I don't feel up to looking at it.

Stupidity is infinitely more fascinating that intelligence. Intelligence has its limits while stupidity has none.

Most of my cliches aren't original.

Of course voting is useful. But then again, I don’t put a big glow to it. Voting is about as essential as washing yourself. It’s something you’re supposed to do. Now, you can’t go around bragging, expecting to get props because you voted. That’s stupid.

You know, I'd love to do a Maxim shoot. But I'm not going to do it, because that's just stupid to do.

As is so often the case with pieces that appear in the 'Onion,' I honestly could not decide whether this was a clever hoax or not - the arguments were almost exactly as stupid as the real thing.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again

Stupidity has its sublime as well as genius, and he who carries that quality to absurdity has reached it; which is always a source of amusement to sensible people.

Don't cater to stupidity.