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Bill Maher Quotes - Page 28

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Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?

Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?

Christian, Believe, America

I don't understand how the Republican party is the party with the reputation for fiscal conservatism and fiscal sanity, when they're the ones who run up the debt. It was Reagan who ran up the debt and now Bush is doing it again, and in between, Clinton and Bush's father, I must say, worked so hard to get that deficit and that debt down.

Running, Father, Party

Gingrich is the "foremost intellectual" in the Republican party like Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in "Kiss".

Party, Kissing, Intellectual

I love Jesus. I just don't like the Christians who don't believe in what he says.

Christian, Jesus, Believe

"Real Time With Bill Maher", October 7, 2005.

You'd know if I was the de-facto leader of the Democratic Party, because you'd go down to Walgreen's and buy a pack of blunts.

Party, Leader, Democratic

It's supposed to be a good thing that he's got this dialogue started. To me, I think, I just took away something bad from it, because, apparently he had to do this not to convince them of anything. To educate them.

Thinking, Good Things, Dialogue

Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

Religious, Mirrors, People

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'

Brother, Talking, Greed

When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has been taken over by people like evangelicals, by people who do not believe in science and rationality. It is the 21st century. And I will tell you, my friend. The future does not belong to the evangelicals. The future does not belong to religion.

Hate, Taken, Believe

"Scarborough Country" with Joe Scarborought, www.nbcnews.com. February 16, 2005.

Why is monotheistic faith better than polytheistic? I mean, either you believe - if you believe in, like, a magic person who can do magic things, why is it different - so different if it's Superman or the Fantastic Four?

Believe, Mean, Magic

"Real Time with Bill Maher", January 18, 2008.

Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee and Tom Tancredo - those were the three guys who said they do not believe in evolution. The irony will be on them when their campaigns die off in favor of stronger, fitter campaigns.

Believe, Guy, Stronger

Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.

Sex, Men, Sweaters

I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don't really care if any of them gets shot.

Joy, Care, Littles

You can't get saved if you don't play.

Play, Saved, Ifs

"Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and, for once, it wasn't your job.

Jobs, Just Be Happy, Miles

John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was about the troops. ... Now, John Kerry has apologized. He said he made a botched joke and admitted that he has a joking problem. He has checked into an improv group and revealed that as a child, he was molested by a clown.

Children, Thinking, Want

Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!

Race, President, Lasts

A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book is apparently called the Manhattan Telephone Directory.

Book, Men, Manhattan

London. Another terrorist attack and ISIS claimed credit. I am surprised because I thought we had wiped out ISIS on day one as Donald Trump said.

Isis, Credit, London

Source: www.realclearpolitics.com

We take one group of people and we demonize them. Trying to turn people against our Muslim friend and neighbors.

People, Trying, Groups

Source: www.realclearpolitics.com

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.

Cooking, Campaigns, Satanic

To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.

Always Trying, Brave, Important

Source: www.usatoday.com

I don't want to start a movement that mirrors religion. I don't want to create the church of the non-believers where I'm the preacher and we're all gathering together and reciting things.

Mirrors, Church, Together

Source: www.avclub.com

I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, "Keep giving it to the president."

Party, Hbo, People

When I was 5-years-old, I knew who Khrushchev was.

Years

"Comedian Bill Maher Plays Not My Job". "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. December 16, 2011.

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