I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.
I feel most empires fell when they started to act human, but then look at Russia. They kept a pretty strong hand, and they fell from Afghanistan alone because Afghanistan is the graveyard of empires. I guess you just can't sustain it.
New York Stat agreed to pay $12 million to settle a lawsuit filed three decades ago by inmates swept up in the bloody 1971 revolt at Attica prison. The settlement will be paid in the form of chocolate bars and packs of Newports that can be picked up in the commissary.
A weird sort of awareness set in, like, 'Wow. My stand-up isn't just separate from everything else I do anymore.' With Twitter and Face book, everything is universal that everything everybody says gets seen.
Well... you know, I would wake up with a terrible hangover in a jail somewhere and worst part was that I would not know why I was there.
It was tumultuous, it was crazy, but I would not trade it for anything.
What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the elephant in the room. Already you can see audiences are pushing back, but we're the ones who really can take it more than anybody.
For the most part, comedians are pretty friendly with each other. They always say they badmouth each other, but most of the time, they're friends. We're the only ones that can really stand our type of humor.
People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.
I think I identify more with the smart guy, but most people might take umbrage at that. I like to think of myself as a real thinker, but I suppose people might beg to differ.
I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like, more than history itself.
I've been to Japan, I've been to China, I've been to Africa, I've been to the Middle East, I've been to Europe a little bit. I've never been to South America.
I write all the time - I write poetry, I love to write
Everybody says before reviews come out, 'Oh, reviews don't matter,' just in case they're bad; everyone want to brace themselves.
I always wanted to write as much as perform.
Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.
Everybody's got a different sense of humor. It's just different styles.
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.
Everybody's funny in different ways.
I'm not a big method actor. I'm much more superficial.
I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
My name has zero value.
That’s the beauty of being a comedian: it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky.
