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Douglas Adams Quotes

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I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything

I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

Technology, Order, Careers

"The Salmon of Doubt". Book by Douglas Adams, 2002.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Inspirational, Funny, Fake People

Douglas Adams (2012). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five”, p.690, Pan Macmillan

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Jobs, People, President

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Fit the Twelfth" (radio program) (1980) See Twain 14

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Funny, God, Crazy

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Fit the Fifth" (radio program) (1978)

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

Inspirational, Uplifting, Destiny

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

Humor, Science, Thinking

Douglas Adams (2005). “The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time”, p.131, Del Rey

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Funny, Education, Wisdom

Douglas Adams, Mark Carwardine (2011). “Last Chance to See”, p.132, Ballantine Books

A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.

Life, Regret, Mistake

Douglas Adams, Stephen Fry (2012). “The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time”, p.203, Pan Macmillan

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Love, Inspirational, Hilarious

"The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time (Dirk Gently, Book 3)". Book by Douglas Adams, 2002.

If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.

Trying, Want, Way

Douglas Adams (2016). “Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul”, p.24, Simon and Schuster

The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood.

Raindrops, Responsible, Flood

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.

Tuna Fish, Guitar, Play

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

Funny, Engineering, Differences

Douglas Adams (2012). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five”, p.691, Pan Macmillan

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

Badass, Philosophy, Thinking

"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency". Book by Douglas Adams, 1987.

The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second.

Stupid, Differences, Computer

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Funny, Witty, Fear

Douglas Adams (2012). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Radio Scripts Volume 2: The Tertiary, Quandary and Quintessential Phases”, p.83, Pan Macmillan

Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.

Said, Obligation, Universe

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.

Cat, Science, Hands

"The Salmon of Doubt". Book by Douglas Adams, 2002.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

Fall, Ends

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.

Success, New York, War

Douglas Adams (2017). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts”, p.102, Pan Macmillan

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

Love, Life, Relationship

Douglas Adams (2009). “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”, p.93, Pan Macmillan

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

Moments, Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, Happened

Douglas Adams (2009). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”, p.135, Pan Macmillan

We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.

Trying, Climate Change, Endangered Species

Douglas Adams, Mark Carwardine (2011). “Last Chance to See”, p.81, Ballantine Books

2,000 years ago one man got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone was nice to each other for a change.

Friday, Nice, Men

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

Funny, Dream, Wife

Douglas Adams (2009). “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”, p.53, Pan Macmillan

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