Dylan Moran Quotes - Page 6

The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.

I'm just a guy who happens to work in public from time to time. I've built a reputation as an established comic, not as a celebrity - a celebrity is someone who is famous but doesn't do anything.

I'm Irish, yeah, but I don't need to get up on a soapbox about it.

I don't know that you're able to measure your aggregate wisdom as you go through life. I can't say that I ever feel that I'm sitting on top of a growing mound of wisdom.

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20.

You exaggerate your own reactions.

You look like a horse in a man costume

Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.

I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People who look like... they're waiting for a sandwich that's never going to come. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I enjoy performing, always, but when you're taping a gig, you've got to blank out this mass apparatus of self-consciousness that's surrounding you, this invitation to drown in self-consciousness. Otherwise you just won't be able to do anything.

Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.

You’re not going to learn anything if you’re not prepared to go flat, so I’m very happy to go flat.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off

What I prefer is an audience who listen. And are intelligent. Which I try and assume every audience is. And that if something goes wrong, it's generally my fault and not theirs.

I’ve always been a big consumer of American journalism over the years and had an interest in the history of it and of the press in America; how it has changed.

I write all the time, but you just want to be careful what you put out. That's all. You want to have the confidence that you've done what you need to do to it, because otherwise it's an exercise in vanity.

I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised yeah, it's a similar feeling, sure.

I'm organised in some ways, but not in others.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing.

I was fat! I was pustule-rich! I looked like a pink human grenade! When did I blossom into the irresistible little orchid that I am now? I don't know. Getting taller helps. It spreads out a bit.