Dylan Moran Quotes about Children

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Children, Beer, Adults

"Dylan Moran: Like, Totally". Documentary, Comedy, 2006.

What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.

Dylan Moran

Funny, Morning, Children

Children are the most honest critics. They will say "You're funny", but also "You're pathetic - go away."

Dylan Moran

Children, Going Away, Honest

"'Half-cut? I'd be entirely cut, sliced and diced every which way'". Interview with Hannah Pool, www.theguardian.com. December 6, 2006.

When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'

Dylan Moran

Funny, Children, Lying

"Dylan Moran: Like, Totally". Video, December 2006.

When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.

Dylan Moran

Children, Simple, Laughing

"Comedian Dylan Moran: 'What am I looking forward to? Incontinence and memory loss'". Interview with Nosheen Iqbal, www.theguardian.com. December 22, 2009.

Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.

Dylan Moran

Children, Eye, People

Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach!" When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!

Dylan Moran

Funny, Children, Humor

"Dylan Moran: What It Is". Video, 2009.