Eoin Colfer Quotes - Page 2

I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.

Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. "Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four?" Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. "I don't think Opal bothers with laws.

When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly.

I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today." He leaned in close and whispered, "I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you.

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!

Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Good. Illegal is always faster.

I don't like lollipops.

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)

You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it. This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.

What many people don't know about 'Peter Pan' is that it's a very violent book and Hook is one of the most finely observed villains ever.

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly.

Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.

And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.

I have a lovely office at the back of my house; it's an old stable and you can see right out to the countryside on one side and into the house on the other side.

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.