Fran Lebowitz Quotes - Page 11

When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't crash. I was just afraid it was going to circle O'Hare for the rest of my life.

Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.

When I was young, boys didn't type.

New York was always more expensive than the other places, even when it was going bankrupt. In other words, in 1971, New York was expensive for someone with no money. For anyone.

Your responsibility as a parent is never great as the case is with the mother.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

People care more about trends now than they do about style. They get so wrapped up in what's happening that they forget how to dress, and they never learn who they are because they never learn how to take care of anything.

Nothing succeeds like address.

To me, O'Hara is the real Fitzgerald.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

If there had been a job of being a reader, I would have taken that, because I love to read and I don't love to write. That would be blissful.

Will power is not telling anybody you quit smoking.

To me the biggest waste of time is commuting. First, there is no place that is less than a two-hour commute from New York. You can be half a mile outside of the city limits; you're two hours away by car. I don't care how close they tell you it is. "Oh, it's only thirty miles." Thirty miles? At 8:30 in the morning, thirty miles outside New York, you might as well be starting out in Omaha.

White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing.

All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.

In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well - Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.

Los Angeles is a large city-like area surrounding the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.

There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

If people had gavels, there would be no wars. If every person in the world had a gavel and could bang it and get everyone's attention right away and make their displeasure known, I believe the level of actual violence in the world would just disappear to practically nothing.

Presently it appears that people are mainly concerned with being well rested. Those capable of uninterrupted sleep are much admired. Unconsciousness is in great demand. This is the day of the milligram. The rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the two go hand in hand. Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

I happen to love a good run almost as much as sex. Like sex, there are often times I don't think I'm interested until I'm into it. Unlike sex, I do have to get out of bed and into the elements. I hate leaving bed.

I've never seen the Kardashians; I'm not sure who they are. But I know a lot about them because it's impossible not to.