The New York Times claims that they publish all the news that's fit to print but what they really do is print all the news that supports their agenda. What they are is the power base of the left.
The New York Times distorts and defrauds the news and then claims to be impartial. They never give an even-handed version of the news - that's the last thing they'd ever do.
Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.
Older Jews think of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and see themselves as siding with the working class and the poor, so they continue to vote the way they do.
I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.
They call it football, but the object of the game is to bash the other guy so hard that he's eventually carried off the field on a stretcher. I can't watch football anymore. My psychiatrist said it's better that way. I used to watch a game, see the players in a huddle - and think they were talking about me.
It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.
People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.
Predictions are preposterous.
I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.
Would you put a pastrami in your mouth if you didn't want to eat it?
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts.
Only the Republican Party cares about the issues that concern me.
I have no idea what's going to happen with America in the future.
I regularly sell out more in England than I do in America.
I've found that my humor goes over big in London.
Even the Republican Party doesn't have the legs to challenge Hillary Clinton.
Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.
I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humor doesn't know what he's talking about.
My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.
