Karl Pilkington Quotes - Page 8

Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.

The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.

It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep.

From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lost, even in Wales.

Knowledge is almost annoying.

I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.

You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.

There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.

Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.

I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like.

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau

My brain's just full of passwords.

I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.

Comedy's really subjective, you know.

It's 2006, why are they still using the index finger?

I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.