The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
A loafer always has the correct time.
Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
It's the good loser who finally loses out.
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
