We're shooting bathing suits down here in St. Barts of course, I do get extra self-conscious. But I'm still here. If there were really something wrong with me, then they wouldn't fly me over here to do this kind of thing - and they can use Photoshop and make me look nice.
I just like a good, honest personality. I like a real person, not somebody who is pretending to be something that they're not. That really annoys me.
I feel guilty about smoking way too much - and I have a bit of an addiction to chocolate milk shakes, which is not good.
I love the traveling, of course. Not the flying, but the actual traveling.
I think about quitting all the time. I'll take such a little thing and be like, "I quit! I've had enough of you people!" And then...I don't know, it gets better. I'm not really good at making plans so I don't have any definite plans for the future. I would love to have a family and kids at some point.
The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.
With this job, always traveling on the plane and everything, I thought it would be really difficult to quit drinking on my own because you're always in situations where it's acceptable to have drinks. So I decided right after a show that I was going to go into treatment. I Googled a bunch of places, and I found this place that I went to in Cape Town, South Africa, called Stepping Stones. I stayed there for a month. It was really difficult-lots of talking and crying.
Being in rehab it's no fun. But afterwards it's like the best thing ever. I didn't want to leave.
Stop drinking was the best thing I've done in my entire life. I'm so happy I did that.
I kind of feel a bit insecure about things. At fashion parties, I do feel like people are kind of watching me and I get so shy, and I think, Oh, if only I could have a drink now. But then that feeling disappears - it actually disappears pretty quickly. I remember how happy I am that I don't drink anymore. I think about all the bad times I had when I was drunk. I messed up so many things. I don't want to do that anymore.
I hate walking down a runway in really high heels. I'm terrible in high heels. I'm so bad.
In real life, I'm very shy, but people think I'm this angry, sexy kind of - god knows what they think! And there I am in front of them, nervous and blushing and stuttering and whatnot. So I'm definitely not the person you see in pictures.
We've worked together with Carine Roitfeld a lot; she's been a big supporter and helped me along with everything. Also, just the way she does her magazine - she's not afraid to do things differently or scared to put certain things in her magazine, a bit of controversy. She's a bit naughty. She likes sexy things.
Sometimes when you do a show or a campaign with a designer, you get along with them really well and you become friends. And then, sometimes, people are just a bit... weird.
Every fashion photographer is completely different; the fact that they are so different is what makes it fun. You don't want to get bored.
My favorite would have to be concealer, which I don't think anyone can live without these days. I use the CK One concealer as well as their One color face makeup. It's brilliant. It's super natural, and it makes it look like you don't have any makeup on.
I'd like to be a bit less pale because I feel like I look sort of ill sometimes.
I did quite a bit of running before, but it's getting really cold so I joined a gym. I do a bit of swimming and I'm starting to do yoga again.
I listen to all of my Dutch happy-hardcore songs from my raving techno days when I was about 14. It's the most horrible music ever. I think it's some kind of muscle memory that brings me back to when I was 14. It makes me bounce around the gym quite happily.
They always, always, always curl your lashes, because it really helps open your eyes and make you look awake. Moisturizing is very important. And what they usually do at shows is they spray some water or Caudalie face spray, which smells really nice. They spray that over your face and make that a bit more fresh and dewy-looking so it's a bit less powdered.
I don't really like the whole pancake look.
You can definitely aid the message that you want to send to people by what scent you're wearing.
You don't really realize why you get attracted to certain people, and I do think scent has more to do with it than we realize.
I find hair things really hard because I can't do my own hair. The only thing I use for my hair is a Tangle Teezer. It's the best thing ever for everyone that has long hair.
I did a really fun orange nail polish with my friend Deborah Lippmann. All of her nail polishes are named after songs so we called this one "Lara's Theme" which is really cute. It's a bright orange which is really good for summer or cheering yourself up in winter.
