Lily Tomlin Quotes

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket - The road to success is always under construction

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.

If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

The road to success is always under construction.

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.

Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.