Lily Tomlin Quotes - Page 2

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.

When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.

I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

After all, in private, we're all misfits

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.

I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.

Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch.