P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 6

He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.

Routine is the death to heroism.

Flowers are happy things.

The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed.

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of your pockets.

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.

I was in rare fettle and the heart had touched a new high. I don't know anything that braces one up like finding you haven't got to get married after all.

I don't want to wrong anybody, so I won't go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature calculated to excite the liveliest of suspicions. Well, I mean to say, when a girl suddenly asks you out of a blue sky if you don't sometimes feel that the stars are God's daisy-chain, you begin to think a bit.

Work, the what's-its-name of the thingummy and the thing-um-a-bob of the what d'you-call-it.

I can detach myself from the world. If there is a better world to detach oneself from than the one functioning at the moment I have yet to hear of it.

Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.

You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem - slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.

She could not have gazed at him with a more rapturous intensity if she had been a small child and he a saucer of ice cream.

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

He shimmered out, and I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes.

Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.

It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.