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Scott Adams Quotes about Death

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I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Thinking
Scott Adams (2007). “Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More”, p.445, Penguin

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Hard Work

Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Serial Killer
Scott Adams (2007). “Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More”, p.440, Penguin

You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Disappear
Scott Adams (2007). “Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!: Cartoonist Explains Cloning, Blouse Monsters, Voting Machines, Romance, Monkey G ods, How to Avoid Being Mistaken for a Rodent, and More”, p.281, Penguin

The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Population

In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.

Scott Adams
Funny, Death, Work
Scott Adams (1996). “The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions”

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Skills

You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Perfect

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

Scott Adams
Death, Suicide, Festivals

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