Si Robertson Quotes

I am the MacGyver of cooking. If you bring me a piece of bread, cabbage, coconut, mustard greens, pigs feet, pine cones...and a woodpecker, I'll make you a good chicken pot pie.

I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!

Hey can mean anything. It can mean yes, it can mean maybe, it could mean no, it could mean next week. Hey, the bottom line is you have to understand me to understand hey.

Sometimes, our greatest strengths can be found while trusting God through our greatest obstacles.

Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, 'If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go'.

A beaver is about like the ninjas the suckers only work at night and they're hard to find.

First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.

You can't fix stupid. You can't fix a neutered dog you can't fix a garage door and hey, you can't fix stupid

I'm so dope I'm illegal in 55 states

I'm like an owl... I don't give a HOOT!

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

Hey, dont hate the player, hate the team.

Victoria's got her secrets. Hey, so do I!

I'm like a fine-tuned race car. You've got to make frequent pit stops when you drink as much tea as I do.

When I sign people's stuff I put down John 3:16 and 17. Most people can tell you what 16 says, OK. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son." But they don't know nothin' about 17. It says Jesus didn't come to condemn us. If anybody had a right to condemn someone, it would be the son of God. If he didn't do it, then hey, we definitely are not qualified to do it.

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

All of my stories are 95 percent truthful.

I know all the new phrases: 'cowabunga,' 'radical,' cat's pajamas,' 'duh,' and 'hey, homie don't play that.

You can't spell squirrel without si, and that's me.

When security comes, every man for himself

Nap time would become a national pastime. A man needs his beauty rest!

Everybody thinks I'm the weirdo in the family.

It ain't gun control we need; it's sin control.