Steve Martin Quotes about Funny

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.

It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk!

The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.