Authors:

Terry Pratchett Quotes - Page 18

All Quotes Accidents Adventure Age Arguing Art Atheism Atheist Authority Balance Beer Belief Blame Chaos Character Children Chocolate Choices Coffee Copper Country Crime Darkness Death Dementia Democracy Doubt Dying Effort End Of The World Evil Fate Feelings Fighting Finding Yourself Flying Food Football Fun Funeral Funny Genius Geography Giving Gold Goodbye Growing Up Hate Heart Heaven Hell History Home Horror House Humanity Hurt Husband Ignorance Imagination Inspiration Inspirational Jesus Journey Justice Killing Language Leaving Letting Go Life Life And Death Listening Literature Logic Losing Luck Lying Magic Mankind Manners Memories Military Moon Morning Motivational Mountain Observation Opportunity Pain Past Perspective Philosophy Police Pride Progress Purpose Quality Rain Reading Reality Religion Responsibility Romance Running Safety Sanity School Science Science Fiction Silence Sin Singing Sleep Smoking Son Soul Spring Students Stupidity Style Suffering Sunrise Travel Trust Truth Understanding Universe Violence Waiting Wall War Water Wife Winning Work Out Worry Writing
Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence,

Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog.

Terry Pratchett
Dream, Dog, Heart

Never f*!k with the ineffable.

Terry Pratchett
Ineffable

The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

Terry Pratchett
Cat, House, Watches
Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

People needed to believe in gods, if only because it was so hard to believe in people.

Terry Pratchett
Believe, People, Needed
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Pyramids: (Discworld Novel 7)”, p.79, Random House

Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.

Terry Pratchett
Good Omens, Inference, Hated
"Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman - fun, with footnotes" by Justine Jordan, www.theguardian.com. December 15, 2015.

The book is not completely written until someone else has read it.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Written
Source: www.theguardian.com

‎No one remembers the singer. The song remains.

Terry Pratchett
Song, Singers, Remember
Terry Pratchett (2016). “The Last Hero”, p.176, Hachette UK

Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Minorities, Littles
Stephen Briggs, Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Wit And Wisdom Of Discworld”, p.158, Random House

People don't like to say Fantasy they say Magic Realism which means Fantasy written by somebody I went to university with.

Terry Pratchett
Mean, Magic Realism, People
Source: bobneilson.org

His mind worked fast, flying in emergency supplies of common sense, as human minds do, to construct a huge anchor in sanity and prove that what happened hadn't really happened and, if it had happened, hadn't happened much.

Terry Pratchett
Anchors, Common Sense, Flying
Terry Pratchett (2009). “Thud!: (Discworld Novel 34)”, p.405, Random House

They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted.

Terry Pratchett
Jobs, Years, Toxins

Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.

Terry Pratchett
Hero, Government, Thieves

Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.

Terry Pratchett
Responsibility, Faults, Ifs
Terry Pratchett (2010). “A Hat Full of Sky: (Discworld Novel 32)”, p.47, Random House

We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork.

Terry Pratchett
Way, Small Gods, Guesswork
"Small Gods". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1992.

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.

Terry Pratchett
Book, Aging, Discrimination

There's no such thing as writer's block. That was invented by people in California who couldn't write.

Terry Pratchett
Block, Writing, California
Interview with SFBC's Joyce Wiley, www.lspace.org. 1996.

A witch who is bored might do ANYTHING. People said things like 'we had to make our own amusements in those days' as if this signified some kind of moral worth, and perhaps it did, but the last thing you wanted a witch to do was get bored and start making her own amusements, because witches sometimes had famously erratic ideas about what was amusing.

Terry Pratchett
Ideas, People, Bored

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

Terry Pratchett
Couple, Tree, Physics
"Feet Of Clay". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1996.

Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

Terry Pratchett
Fruit Salad, Feelings, Onions
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Guards! Guards!: (Discworld Novel 8)”, p.92, Random House

...no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.

Terry Pratchett
World, Causes, Existence

I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.

Terry Pratchett
Soccer, Football, Play

Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist.

Terry Pratchett
People, Want

It is true that words have power, and one of the things they are able to do is get out of someone’s mouth before the speaker has the chance to stop them.

Terry Pratchett
Mouths, Able, Chance

Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.

Terry Pratchett
Dog, Trying, Faces
Terry Pratchett (2008). “Making Money: (Discworld Novel 36)”, p.141, Random House

Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.

Terry Pratchett
Nursing, One Direction, Chocolate

You May Also Like: