Tucker Max Quotes - Page 3

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.

Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.

I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)

Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:"I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.

I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?

If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.

The idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation is a toxic cultural myth that robs guys of self-confidence and that holds them up to an unrealistic standard that they have to become a super-extraverted narcissist in order to 'score with women'

Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.

Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.

It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.

What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.