Yogi Berra Quotes about Funny

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.'

You can observe a lot by just watching.

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.

It's like deja-vu, all over again.

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what's left.

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

We made too many wrong mistakes.

Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his: "I really didn't say everything I said."

He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.

When asked what would he do if he found $1 million, Yogi responded, If the guy was poor, I'd give it back.