Dog Quotes - Page 87

What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

It is a much more straightforward thing to be a dog, and a dog's love, once given, is not reconsidered.

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."

Whenever I give a talk about my work I am invariably asked who my influences are. Not what my influences are, but who.. As if the gutter, misunderstandings, memories, sex, dreams, and books matter less than forebears do. After all, in terms of influences, it is as much the guy who mugged me on Tenth Street, or my beloved dog who passed away much too early, as it was Giotto or Diane Arbus.

The dog is almost human in its demand for living interest, yet fatally less than human in its inability to foresee.

I dare not so honor my mere wishes and prayers as to put them for a moment beside your noble acts; but this know, I would rather submit to the worst of deaths, so far as pain goes, than have a single dog or cat tortured on the pretence of sparing me a twinge or two.

Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens.

Especially with four insanely angry, sword-carrying pirates bearing down on you, followed closely by an alien with a genetic malfunction that posed like Elvis Presley and looked slightly like a cross between a koala and a cuddly dog.

I love my life, and I love the people that I'm connected to and I love my family and I love what I do, I'm passionate about performing and being onstage. That and meditating and hugging a dog are the only three times I am absolutely sure I will never get a depressed moment. So if I could go from dog-hugging to meditation to being onstage, I'd be good.

But it was hard to keep his hands still. He could almost feel them twitching emphatically with his strong desire to reach out and stroke the dog's head. He had such a terrible yearning to love something again, and the dog was such a beautiful ugly dog.

Every year the State will be the dog that chases its own tail... engaging in a futile attempt to close a perpetual budget gap.

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

Your dog is your only philosopher.

My sons named her Bridget because that way they always had their sister, Bridget, with them. People thought we were nuts because on the phone they'd hear us say, "Bridget, sit!"

Guests are people who come to your home to see you whine at the table, bark loudly, jump on women wearing pantyhose, and do other tricks which you wouldn't think of doing just for the family.

In 1911 the little town of Nakhla in Egypt was the scene of one of the most remarkable events in historym when a chunk of rock fell from the sky and killed a dog. This is the only known canine fatality caused by a cosmic object. Improbably though this encounter was already, its truly extraordinary nature was revealed only decades later when scientists found that the culprit was not a common-or-garden meteorite, but a piece of the planet Mars.

Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up! My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup; I So, presently, must I.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Conventional dogmas, even if endowed with the authority of an Aristotle - ancient or modern - must be tested vigorously. If they are found wanting, we need not bother with them. But if they are found to be substantially correct, we may not overlook them.

One day I gave Clifford a bath. And I combed his hair and took hom to the dog show. I'd like to say Clifford won first prize...but he didn't. I don't care. You can keep all your small dogs. You can keep all your black, white, brown, and spotted dogs. I'll keep Clifford...Wouldn't you?

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun; The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to; Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one, But Englishmen detest a siesta.

If rulers learn to undervalue the lives of their own subjects by the custom of war, how much more do they undervalue the lives of their enemies! As they learn to hear of the loss of five hundred or a thousand of their own men, with perhaps less feeling than they would hear of the death of a favorite horse or dog, so they learn to hear of the death of thousands after thousands on the side of the enemy with joy and exultation.

When I was a kid I was always afraid of small dogs, because they always seemed like the ones that would attack.